[currently listening helmet to ease the mind a bit]
ok, i wasnt looking for a once-to-be-married relationship.
i wasnt looking for i-need-my-soulmate kind of love.
its not as if i was directly looking for love in a classic way, i would be fine with many kinds of relationships.
still, i wonder what her ambitions in this are.
maybe i was looking for something more than just a fuck-buddy to put it plain simple, but i d be happy with that as well.
i guess i can be also quite simple to handle: click on, click off.
or in other words:
i think i am very uncomplicated.
but push the right buttons and tell me which ones you wanna push.
somehow i am pissed if we first want to meet on saturday, then that gets postponed till monday for culture cinema, then that gets postponed, i propose thuesday for cinema, she says wednesday, i say ok, adapt my week-plans for that accordingly and then on wednesday she tells me we are going out with friends. then, on going out, she vanishes with them at 2:00am (instead of staying with me a while longer) for getting home right enough to then fetch somebody from the bus arriving in town at 4:30am. which i guess somebody else could have fetched as well. do i believe it anyway?
maybe thats her way of saying, "i dont want any more."
if its not then now i am not sure how i will react. do i want to put up with this?
if i knew from the start what an evening will bring in kindof... general, then its fine with me. if i am not shifted from one day to the next. "ah not today, altough i said so earlier, lets take this day(who needs to know if i have time anyway?)"
ok, i wasnt looking for a once-to-be-married relationship.
i wasnt looking for i-need-my-soulmate kind of love.
its not as if i was directly looking for love in a classic way, i would be fine with many kinds of relationships.
still, i wonder what her ambitions in this are.
maybe i was looking for something more than just a fuck-buddy to put it plain simple, but i d be happy with that as well.
i guess i can be also quite simple to handle: click on, click off.
or in other words:
i think i am very uncomplicated.
but push the right buttons and tell me which ones you wanna push.
somehow i am pissed if we first want to meet on saturday, then that gets postponed till monday for culture cinema, then that gets postponed, i propose thuesday for cinema, she says wednesday, i say ok, adapt my week-plans for that accordingly and then on wednesday she tells me we are going out with friends. then, on going out, she vanishes with them at 2:00am (instead of staying with me a while longer) for getting home right enough to then fetch somebody from the bus arriving in town at 4:30am. which i guess somebody else could have fetched as well. do i believe it anyway?
maybe thats her way of saying, "i dont want any more."
if its not then now i am not sure how i will react. do i want to put up with this?
if i knew from the start what an evening will bring in kindof... general, then its fine with me. if i am not shifted from one day to the next. "ah not today, altough i said so earlier, lets take this day(who needs to know if i have time anyway?)"
not to mention the intimacy signs i get and send out. too complicated to tell anyway.
but as it is, i now have to figure what i will do. if she still wants something, and i have reasons to think this is the case, do i really want to be easy to toss around without taking care?
not sure if it came out clear. i am interested if i know what i meant when i read this in some months
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